And before long, Rhea would know it too. How would she be able to focus on her studies if Deb and I were on this trip together? How would Sam handle dealing with Deb day after day, for weeks on end? And did I need a physician leading me around by the hand, taking control of my life? If I did, should I even go? ‘You know, Deborah,’ I began, ‘Why don’t you count on coming along as far as Istanbul. Let’s see how you feel then.’ She looked at me with questioning eyes then, nodded her head slowly. Rejection wasn’t her thing, I remembered, hoping she wouldn’t take her anger out on Rhea. I looked at Sam, he was looking at the house, looking at Rhea, and I guessed he was thinking the exact same thing. ‘Drink that lemon juice, John,’ Deb said without blinking an eye. ‘I don’t want you getting dehydrated.’ Sam excused himself, went into the house. ‘Tell me, Deborah, why do you want to come along? Really?’ ‘I don’t, John, not really. But I’m afraid something will happen to you if I’m not. “Were you… very close?” I pressed rather unsubtly. Jake spotted my meaning. “Yes we were… ‘Very close’… as you put it, nosey,” he smiled. “But anyway, it was a mutual decision and it leaves me free to enjoy the summer properly, doesn’t it?” I could tell he was a bit uncomfortable with this line of questioning so didn’t press him further. I wouldn’t have consciously wished the break-up on him but I have to confess I had been pleased to learn that Cindy wouldn’t be on the scene during my last summer holiday before University. To be honest, my own sexual history was no more exciting. Despite the best efforts of the depressingly small number of boys who had asked me out, I remained a virgin at eighteen. Perhaps I had an unrealistic view of relationships; given all that has happened since, perhaps I still have. Although I hadn’t expected to ‘save myself’ for my husband as my mother had apparently done, I was determined that my first time in bed with a boy must mean a lot more than a.
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